Song

The Cucumber Song to the tune of Botany Bay

A restless young lady from Canada,
Developed a wonderful trend,
To purchase cucumbers for pleasure,
‘Cause she found they were better than men.

Chorus
So line up for your cucumbers, ladies,
They’re selling for two bucks apiece,
Your frustrated days are all over,
‘Cause cucumbers never get pissed.

In Thailand they’re eaten with chilis,
In Britain they’re put between bread,
But in Canada we use them as ‘jammies,
‘Cause we know that they’ll never want head.

They’ll never leave stains on the mattress,
They’re happy to live in the fridge,
The loo seat is never left standing,
And I’ve never seen cucumber kids.