Song

The Ballad of Joe Haldeman For Joe Haldeman, to the tune of “The Ballad of Jed Clampett

Come and listen to this story by a man named Joe,
‘Bout a creature from space who spent eons far below.

And then one day it was living as a shark,
Wandered up on land and turned human for a lark.
Rich man’s son.
Randy boy.

Well the next thing you know, he’s fighting in a war,
Changing bodies often to get rid of blood and gore.
He says Bataan’s not a place he ought to be,
So he turns into a shark and goes back into the sea.

Changes gears.
Swims for years.
Well when we found its space ship and we needed
scientists,

The creature said, yeah, I’ll be a part of this.
It switched its gender, turned from he into a she,
And that’s how Joe won himself the ol’ Tiptree.

Award, that is.
Camouflage.
Ya’ll read it now, ya hear?

Happy Trolls For Johanna Sinisalo, to the tune of ”Happy Trails”

Happy Trolls, to you.
You thought they were tall tales.
Happy Trolls, to you.
They’ve got sharp teeth and nails.
Who knew that they’d like guinea pigs for lunch
And make their housemate shudder at the crunch?
Happy Trolls, to you,
Until we read again.